Attacking You At Close Quarters

Apr. 24th, 2017 09:00 pm
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Posted by Not Always Right

Grocery Store | Kansas City, MO, USA

(I work in customer service at a popular grocery chain in the Midwest. Our money is dispensed by a machine directly into our tills, so we do not have rolls of change.)

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

Customer: “Fine, thanks. I just need two rolls of quarters for this twenty.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately we do not have rolls of quarters.”

Customer: “What? Yes, you do. I am in here all the time getting rolls of quarters.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’ve never done this to my knowledge.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. Fine, whatever. Can I just get some quarters then?”

Me: “I can do about five dollars in quarters. If I do much more, my drawer will be unbalanced, and I will run out of quarters.”

Customer: “You’re being ridiculous. This is poor customer service.”

(She glances at my name tag which says I’ve been working there for seven years. She knows I know what I’m talking about and her argument won’t hold.)

Customer: “Is there a manager I can speak to?”

Me: “Of course.” *I call the manager over and explain the situation*

(I begin doing something else at this point.)

Customer: *to Manager* “He was being very rude, too.”

(I have to turn away because I begin silently laughing at her saying I was rude. He gets into the safe, which has rolls for accounting, to get her some quarters. He isn’t supposed to do this and later gets yelled at by accounting.)

Customer: *to me as she walks away* “See! That’s customer service.”

(Lady, I have never been rude to a customer. I am sorry you feel that me being polite in telling you that we can’t do something is rude.)

The post Attacking You At Close Quarters appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Something Not Right With Their Head

Apr. 24th, 2017 07:00 pm
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Retail | Baltimore, MD, USA

(I am a customer in line behind a lady who is checking out. The cashier is a young man, around 17 or 18. Most of the employees have some kind of personal item in addition to their uniform. This cashier was wearing a funny alien hat.)

Lady: *digging through her purse* “I think I have a coupon for…” *she looks up* “WHAT… happened to your HEAD?!”

(At this point, she got my immediate attention and I take notice of the silly hat that in no way looks like skin or hair. It looks like a gray cloth hat with alien eyes on it.)

Cashier: *confused* “My… head…? *puts his hand on his hat*

Lady: “You need to get to a hospital! Your whole head! It’s gray!”

Cashier: *takes his hat off and touches his hair* “I did hit my head earlier. I hope I’m not bleeding…”

Lady: *throws her hands over her mouth* “YOU JUST… TORE IT…” *she then grabs her bag and runs out of the store*

(The cashier and I are both stunned and just watch her leave.)

Cashier: “I think I’m going to go on break now.”

The post Something Not Right With Their Head appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Timely Flights Of Fancy

Apr. 24th, 2017 05:00 pm
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Travel Agency | London, England, UK

(I’m on the phone with a customer inquiring about flights to a certain destination. Airline #1 has multiple flights per day, while Airline #2 flies once per day.)

Me: “So the cheapest flight for [Airline #1] flying to [Destination] is £[Total], and the cheapest flight for [Airline #2] is £[Total].”

Customer: “Why does [Airline #2] only fly to [Destination] once per day?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I don’t like the times for [Airline #2]. Can’t I fly at a different time?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I have no control over how often airline companies schedule their flights. If you want to arrive by a certain time, [Airline #1] would be the better option.”

Customer: “I still don’t get it. Why doesn’t [Airline #2] fly to [Destination] more often? Their counter at the airport is much bigger than [Airline #1]!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: *trying to keep a straight face while talking* “No, ma’am, the size of the check-in counter has no relation to how many flights an airline has.”

The post Timely Flights Of Fancy appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Some Customers Are Complete Trash

Apr. 24th, 2017 03:00 pm
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Restaurant, Fast Food | Australia

I work part-time at a well-known fast food restaurant. After a busy lunch period, I’m in the dining room cleaning up. The floor is absolutely filthy after having some 2500 people through the doors in around two hours or so.

After changing bins and clearing tables, I sweep and mop the entire floor. While I am doing this, a female customer is watching me from a nearby table with her two small children. They eat their meals and linger for a while, with the mother continuing to watch me and the two children playing with the toys that came with their meals.

It takes me about 45 minutes to finish sweeping and mopping the floor. I finally finish the last corner and just as I’m putting the mop back in the bucket, the woman stands up with her two kids and begins to walk towards me carrying their tray. I am standing near the bins, so I think nothing of it.

They stopped next to the bins, and the mother made eye contact with me, pulled the lid off her almost full large soda and poured the entire thing on the floor, never breaking eye contact. She then dropped the cup, lid, and straw, as well as the entire tray of rubbish, onto the ground into the soda, and then proceeded to walk over it, and out of the store. I was too shocked to even respond.

The post Some Customers Are Complete Trash appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Day-Careless, Part 2

Apr. 24th, 2017 01:00 pm
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Department Store | UK

(I am heading into a department store when I notice my shoelaces are untied, and bend down just before the entrance to redo them. When I stand up there is a baby stroller next to me with what looks to be a two- to three-month-old sleeping inside. I look around and ask a couple of people going by if they know anything. None do, but a couple offer to pop inside and get help. The manager and a couple of workers come and take the child inside and make announcements over half an hour for anyone to claim him. After I have finished my shopping I go back and ask about him, and am told that the police have been informed. Cue a woman frantically running up to the counter.)

Woman: “Excuse me, I need to report a missing child. I left my son with your daycare and he’s disappeared!”

Worker: “But madam, we don’t have a daycare. We do have a—”

Woman: “But, then where is he!” *turning and somehow recognising me* “YOU! YOU KIDNAPPED MY SON!”

Me: “What are you— Oh, wait. Are you talking about the kid that was left at the entrance?”

Woman: “YES! YOU KIDNAPPED HIM! I’M PHONING THE POLICE!”

(The police are already in the building responding to the call made by the store. The woman is reunited with her son, but she demands I be arrested for attempted kidnapping. We try to explain the situation, but the woman is in complete hysterics. The manager offers to show the police the footage of the entrance to try and clear the things up. After viewing it, they come out to us.)

Officer: “You are free to go, sir. It appears that this lady walked up to you with her stroller and simply left it next to you before walking into the store. We can’t even see her say anything.”

(I turn to see her blushing and staring at the ground.)

Me: *bewildered* “So, she just left her child with a complete stranger, hoping they would take care of him?”

Woman: *snapping her head up and glaring at me* “I WAS BUSY!”

(The woman fell into hysterics again and was being escorted to an ambulance as I left the store.)

The post Day-Careless, Part 2 appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Comic for April 24, 2017

Apr. 24th, 2017 11:59 pm
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Posted by Not Always Right

Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (April 17th – April 23rd 2017)!

See more roundups here! Don’t forget to check out this week’s comic! You can also check out this week’s episode of our show!

The post Roundup: The Most Popular Stories Of The Week appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Don’t Even Need To Ink About It

Apr. 23rd, 2017 07:00 pm
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Tattoo Parlor | Canada

(I own a tattoo parlour with a highly sought after artist. He has a very unique style, and often has clients who come from all over the world to get tattooed. This means he’s booked months, even years, in advance. He doesn’t do walk-ins, and only accepts projects that he feels will let him expand as an artist. He also keeps a cancellation list with secondary projects that he will accept if a spot opens up. He’s courteous enough to accept all consultations, but generally doesn’t add anyone to his list. One Monday, our consultation day, a girl in her early twenties comes in asking for a consultation.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m here for a consultation with [Artist]. He’s expecting me.” *smiles smugly*

Me: “Actually, we don’t make appointments for consultations, but [Artist] should be done with his current consultation soon, so you’re more than welcome to wait. Do you have a particular design in mind? One of our other artists might be able to handle it.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes* “Um, no. I want to be tattooed by [Artist]. He’s got something special already planned for me.”

Me: “Ah, okay. Well then, feel free to sit down and wait.”

(We get this a lot: people trying to weasel their way into his schedule, claiming they know him, he’s a friend, he’s already designed it, etc. He’s told us to just send the people back through to him rather than creating a scene at the front desk.)

Customer: “Can I book my appointment first, though? I want [Date and Time].”

Me: “I’m sorry; [Artist] likes to make all the appointments himself. He’s very selective about who he works with. He’s actually fully booked for the next 15 months, but we might be able to put you on the cancellation list if he likes your idea.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes* “Whatever. I already told you he’s got something special for me. He’ll book me for [Date and Time].”

(I realize I’m not going to get anywhere with this girl, so I show her to the waiting room and give her a consultation form to fill out. I also shoot Artist a text warning him about his next consultation. About 15 minutes later, the girl storms out of Artist’s office, screaming profanities at Artist.)

Customer: “You’re such a f****** asshole! Do you seriously think you’re so good you can reject my idea?! I’m PAYING you to do that, so YOU WORK FOR ME! F*** you! I’m going to f****** ruin your reputation! No one will want a tattoo from you after I’m done! F*** YOU AND YOUR S***TY SHOP!”

(She slams the front door so hard she manages to crack the glass.)

Me: “Geeze, [Artist] what did you tell her?”

Artist: “The truth. I told her I’m fully booked, and I didn’t like her idea. She refused to discuss other ideas, so I told her I didn’t want to work with her. If someone’s a pain in the ass during the consult, they’re going to a nightmare during the actual appointment. Not worth the headache.”

(Later we discovered she had left very negative and very rude reviews on our Facebook page and Yelp. However, due to Artist’s outstanding reputation, she was promptly told off by many of his clients. She has also been blacklisted at many of the tattoo shops around the city.)

The post Don’t Even Need To Ink About It appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Sub-Standard Navigation

Apr. 23rd, 2017 05:00 pm
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Retail | MI, USA

(I work in a deli where we make large subs for parties that customers can pre-order.)

Customer: “Yes, I have a sub order to pick up under [Name].”

Coworker: “We have no orders that I know of today, ma’am. Are you sure you placed the order here and not at [Location people always confuse with ours]?”

Customer: “No! I know it was here! I’ll just text my daughter and she’ll know!”

(My coworker patiently waits while the customer tries to contact her daughter.)

Customer: *she reads off her phone* “A six-inch sub for two o’clock at [Popular Sub Shop inside our store]!”

(The customer stared at my coworker with the most triumphant look I’ve ever seen. He then had to gently tell her that the restaurant was about 50 feet away and we had nothing to do with them, and she needed to pick up her order there.)

The post Sub-Standard Navigation appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

From An Older And SIM-pler Time

Apr. 23rd, 2017 03:00 pm
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Posted by Not Always Right

Hotel | Helsinki, Finland

Guest: *pointing at our rack of postcards* “Do you have any [Operator] prepaid sim cards?”

Me: “No, sorry, we don’t have any sim cards.”

Guest: “Then what are these?”

Me: “Postcards.”

Guest: “What?”

Me: “They’re postcards.”

(Guest walked away, visibly confused.)

The post From An Older And SIM-pler Time appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Comic for April 23, 2017

Apr. 23rd, 2017 11:59 pm
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Earth Day by Jane Yolen

Apr. 22nd, 2017 04:28 pm
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[personal profile] bairnsidhe posting in [community profile] poetry
 I am the Earth
And the Earth is me.
Each blade of grass,
Each honey tree,
Each bit of mud, 
And stick and stone
Is blood and muscle, 
Skin and bone.
 
And just as I 
Need every bit
Of me to make
My body fit,
So Earth needs
Grass and stone and tree
And things that grow here
Naturally.
 
That’s why we 
Celebrate this day.
That’s why across
The world we say:
As long as life,
As dear, as free,
I am the Earth
And the Earth is me. 

Not Fully Open Minded

Apr. 22nd, 2017 07:00 pm
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Retail | Sydney, NSW, Australia

(We are setting up a new store. The owners want to open as soon as possible so leave part of the store blocked off because it hasn’t been set up yet. An older woman approaches me.)

Customer: “What’s in that area?”

Me: “Nothing at the moment but it will be [Department] when it is.”

(She starts moving stock that we have blocking access into the area, as it’s dangerous to have customers wandering around in there.)

Me: “Sorry, you can’t go in there.”

Customer: “I want to see what’s in there.”

Me: “I can’t let you in there. There isn’t anything set up in there yet.”

Customer: *yelling at me* “HOW DARE YOU OPEN THE SHOP BEFORE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING SET UP?!”

The post Not Fully Open Minded appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

What have you been reading?

Apr. 22nd, 2017 07:37 pm
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[personal profile] peaceful_sands posting in [community profile] book_love
Lots of new people around, which is great to see. I know I've been a bit slack over the last couple of months with my commenting on posts here but figured I'd see if anyone wanted to chat and tell us all about their recent reading.

Dora Explores Racism

Apr. 22nd, 2017 05:00 pm
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Toy Store | TX, USA

(I am a seasonal employee at a well-known toy store. An old lady, we’re talking, like, eighty or so years old, comes up to me while I am organizing the shelves.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where are your Doras?”

Me: *smiling* “Oh, right this way, ma’am!” *I lead her to the large section of Dora toys and plushies* “All our Doras are right here.”

Customer: *looks troubled* “Oh, no, sweetie. I can’t give my grandbaby these Doras. I need a white Dora.”

Me: “I’m sorry but—”

Customer: “I can’t give my baby a brown Dora! You understand, don’t you?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. But I’m afraid there’s no Doras that aren’t… brown. I can show you some of our… white baby dolls.”

Customer: “No, dear, that’s all right. Thank you for your help.”

(She left, and I was trying not to laugh at the whole exchange. I found out from my sister, who worked at the same store, but in the mall, that the same lady came in and asked her the same thing! She said about the same thing I did, except the woman finally bought a baby doll. A black one.)

The post Dora Explores Racism appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Unicorn Crossing

Apr. 22nd, 2017 01:23 pm
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[personal profile] marycatelli posting in [community profile] book_love
Unicorn Crossing by Dana Simpson

The continuing adventures of a girl and her unicorn. . . .

Plans for Halloween; Dakota and her goblin friend Blaarthelomew; envy of snow; Marigold's going away with her sister for some days, and Phoebe's coping; Dakota's snide comments; interacting with her friend Max, and more.

Math Is Usually To Blame

Apr. 22nd, 2017 03:00 pm
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Call Center | ME, USA

Customer: “What is 25 multiplied by 24?”

Me: “That comes to 600.”

Customer: “WHY?!”

Me: “I’m sorry… Are you asking me why it comes to 600?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

Me: “Because of math?”

The post Math Is Usually To Blame appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Comic for April 22, 2017

Apr. 22nd, 2017 11:59 pm
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