Day-Careless, Part 2

Apr. 24th, 2017 01:00 pm
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Department Store | UK

(I am heading into a department store when I notice my shoelaces are untied, and bend down just before the entrance to redo them. When I stand up there is a baby stroller next to me with what looks to be a two- to three-month-old sleeping inside. I look around and ask a couple of people going by if they know anything. None do, but a couple offer to pop inside and get help. The manager and a couple of workers come and take the child inside and make announcements over half an hour for anyone to claim him. After I have finished my shopping I go back and ask about him, and am told that the police have been informed. Cue a woman frantically running up to the counter.)

Woman: “Excuse me, I need to report a missing child. I left my son with your daycare and he’s disappeared!”

Worker: “But madam, we don’t have a daycare. We do have a—”

Woman: “But, then where is he!” *turning and somehow recognising me* “YOU! YOU KIDNAPPED MY SON!”

Me: “What are you— Oh, wait. Are you talking about the kid that was left at the entrance?”

Woman: “YES! YOU KIDNAPPED HIM! I’M PHONING THE POLICE!”

(The police are already in the building responding to the call made by the store. The woman is reunited with her son, but she demands I be arrested for attempted kidnapping. We try to explain the situation, but the woman is in complete hysterics. The manager offers to show the police the footage of the entrance to try and clear the things up. After viewing it, they come out to us.)

Officer: “You are free to go, sir. It appears that this lady walked up to you with her stroller and simply left it next to you before walking into the store. We can’t even see her say anything.”

(I turn to see her blushing and staring at the ground.)

Me: *bewildered* “So, she just left her child with a complete stranger, hoping they would take care of him?”

Woman: *snapping her head up and glaring at me* “I WAS BUSY!”

(The woman fell into hysterics again and was being escorted to an ambulance as I left the store.)

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Comic for April 24, 2017

Apr. 24th, 2017 11:59 pm
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Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (April 17th – April 23rd 2017)!

See more roundups here! Don’t forget to check out this week’s comic! You can also check out this week’s episode of our show!

The post Roundup: The Most Popular Stories Of The Week appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Don’t Even Need To Ink About It

Apr. 23rd, 2017 07:00 pm
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Tattoo Parlor | Canada

(I own a tattoo parlour with a highly sought after artist. He has a very unique style, and often has clients who come from all over the world to get tattooed. This means he’s booked months, even years, in advance. He doesn’t do walk-ins, and only accepts projects that he feels will let him expand as an artist. He also keeps a cancellation list with secondary projects that he will accept if a spot opens up. He’s courteous enough to accept all consultations, but generally doesn’t add anyone to his list. One Monday, our consultation day, a girl in her early twenties comes in asking for a consultation.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m here for a consultation with [Artist]. He’s expecting me.” *smiles smugly*

Me: “Actually, we don’t make appointments for consultations, but [Artist] should be done with his current consultation soon, so you’re more than welcome to wait. Do you have a particular design in mind? One of our other artists might be able to handle it.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes* “Um, no. I want to be tattooed by [Artist]. He’s got something special already planned for me.”

Me: “Ah, okay. Well then, feel free to sit down and wait.”

(We get this a lot: people trying to weasel their way into his schedule, claiming they know him, he’s a friend, he’s already designed it, etc. He’s told us to just send the people back through to him rather than creating a scene at the front desk.)

Customer: “Can I book my appointment first, though? I want [Date and Time].”

Me: “I’m sorry; [Artist] likes to make all the appointments himself. He’s very selective about who he works with. He’s actually fully booked for the next 15 months, but we might be able to put you on the cancellation list if he likes your idea.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes* “Whatever. I already told you he’s got something special for me. He’ll book me for [Date and Time].”

(I realize I’m not going to get anywhere with this girl, so I show her to the waiting room and give her a consultation form to fill out. I also shoot Artist a text warning him about his next consultation. About 15 minutes later, the girl storms out of Artist’s office, screaming profanities at Artist.)

Customer: “You’re such a f****** asshole! Do you seriously think you’re so good you can reject my idea?! I’m PAYING you to do that, so YOU WORK FOR ME! F*** you! I’m going to f****** ruin your reputation! No one will want a tattoo from you after I’m done! F*** YOU AND YOUR S***TY SHOP!”

(She slams the front door so hard she manages to crack the glass.)

Me: “Geeze, [Artist] what did you tell her?”

Artist: “The truth. I told her I’m fully booked, and I didn’t like her idea. She refused to discuss other ideas, so I told her I didn’t want to work with her. If someone’s a pain in the ass during the consult, they’re going to a nightmare during the actual appointment. Not worth the headache.”

(Later we discovered she had left very negative and very rude reviews on our Facebook page and Yelp. However, due to Artist’s outstanding reputation, she was promptly told off by many of his clients. She has also been blacklisted at many of the tattoo shops around the city.)

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Sub-Standard Navigation

Apr. 23rd, 2017 05:00 pm
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Retail | MI, USA

(I work in a deli where we make large subs for parties that customers can pre-order.)

Customer: “Yes, I have a sub order to pick up under [Name].”

Coworker: “We have no orders that I know of today, ma’am. Are you sure you placed the order here and not at [Location people always confuse with ours]?”

Customer: “No! I know it was here! I’ll just text my daughter and she’ll know!”

(My coworker patiently waits while the customer tries to contact her daughter.)

Customer: *she reads off her phone* “A six-inch sub for two o’clock at [Popular Sub Shop inside our store]!”

(The customer stared at my coworker with the most triumphant look I’ve ever seen. He then had to gently tell her that the restaurant was about 50 feet away and we had nothing to do with them, and she needed to pick up her order there.)

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From An Older And SIM-pler Time

Apr. 23rd, 2017 03:00 pm
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Hotel | Helsinki, Finland

Guest: *pointing at our rack of postcards* “Do you have any [Operator] prepaid sim cards?”

Me: “No, sorry, we don’t have any sim cards.”

Guest: “Then what are these?”

Me: “Postcards.”

Guest: “What?”

Me: “They’re postcards.”

(Guest walked away, visibly confused.)

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Comic for April 23, 2017

Apr. 23rd, 2017 11:59 pm
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Not Fully Open Minded

Apr. 22nd, 2017 07:00 pm
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Retail | Sydney, NSW, Australia

(We are setting up a new store. The owners want to open as soon as possible so leave part of the store blocked off because it hasn’t been set up yet. An older woman approaches me.)

Customer: “What’s in that area?”

Me: “Nothing at the moment but it will be [Department] when it is.”

(She starts moving stock that we have blocking access into the area, as it’s dangerous to have customers wandering around in there.)

Me: “Sorry, you can’t go in there.”

Customer: “I want to see what’s in there.”

Me: “I can’t let you in there. There isn’t anything set up in there yet.”

Customer: *yelling at me* “HOW DARE YOU OPEN THE SHOP BEFORE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING SET UP?!”

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Dora Explores Racism

Apr. 22nd, 2017 05:00 pm
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Toy Store | TX, USA

(I am a seasonal employee at a well-known toy store. An old lady, we’re talking, like, eighty or so years old, comes up to me while I am organizing the shelves.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where are your Doras?”

Me: *smiling* “Oh, right this way, ma’am!” *I lead her to the large section of Dora toys and plushies* “All our Doras are right here.”

Customer: *looks troubled* “Oh, no, sweetie. I can’t give my grandbaby these Doras. I need a white Dora.”

Me: “I’m sorry but—”

Customer: “I can’t give my baby a brown Dora! You understand, don’t you?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. But I’m afraid there’s no Doras that aren’t… brown. I can show you some of our… white baby dolls.”

Customer: “No, dear, that’s all right. Thank you for your help.”

(She left, and I was trying not to laugh at the whole exchange. I found out from my sister, who worked at the same store, but in the mall, that the same lady came in and asked her the same thing! She said about the same thing I did, except the woman finally bought a baby doll. A black one.)

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Math Is Usually To Blame

Apr. 22nd, 2017 03:00 pm
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Call Center | ME, USA

Customer: “What is 25 multiplied by 24?”

Me: “That comes to 600.”

Customer: “WHY?!”

Me: “I’m sorry… Are you asking me why it comes to 600?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

Me: “Because of math?”

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Comic for April 22, 2017

Apr. 22nd, 2017 11:59 pm
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Milking Young Minds

Apr. 22nd, 2017 03:00 am
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Manufacturing | Germany

Me: “Good morning. You’ve reached [Company]. [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hi, I’m calling from [Local Kindergarten] regarding your products.”

(I’m surprised but think she might want to know something for educational reasons since I can’t think of any possible way our products could be used in a kindergarten.)

Me: “Sure, go on! I’m happy to help you with your questions or put you through to somebody who can.”

Caller: “We’re soon hosting a carnival and I just wanted to make sure: Are your products safe to use on small children?”

Me: “Wait… WHAT?!”

Caller: “Aren’t you [Makeup Company]?”

Me: “No… we’re a manufacturer for mechanical milkers… for cows.”

Caller: “Oh… Oh, dear! I already thought your company name sounded weird. I’m very sorry. Please don’t tell anybody about this…”

(Turned out said makeup company had the same number as we did, only with a different area code. However, “But can we safely use that product on small children?” still is a running gag in our technical department.)

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The Age Of Innocence

Apr. 22nd, 2017 01:00 am
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Museum | WA, USA

(The museum I work at has five price brackets: Senior (65+), Adult (16-64), Youth (age 6-15), and Child (age 3-5), with under 3 being free admission. These are listed on the sign above the cashier’s heads at the admission desk, but it’s confusing enough that to save time I usually just ask guests for the ages of their kids instead of listing them all. The following happens about once a day.)

Me: “Okay, so that’s one adult for general admission, and how old is the kiddo?”

Guest: “She’s—” *stops and peers at price list* “Uh… five.”

Daughter: *looking outraged* “NO! Mommy, I’m SIX and a HALF.”

Guest: *refuses to meet my eyes* “Oh, sorry, honey. Right. She’s six.”

Daughter: “—and a HALF!”

Me: “Great! So one adult and a youth will be [amount]!” *smiles sweetly*

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Get Me To The Card On Time

Apr. 21st, 2017 11:00 pm
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Department Store | MI, USA

(Our store has a store credit card customers can use to buy items and to save money. For whatever reason, the bank that controls it is bought out and they have to send customers all new cards, and the bank statements that we used to be able to scan to let customers make payments on their accounts don’t work anymore, so they have to have their new cards on them in order to pay.)

Me: “Hi! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I want to pay my credit card bill.” *he hands me his statement and a check*

Me: “Okay, do you have your new card on you?”

Customer: “No, why?”

Me: “Okay… I’m going to have to have your new card in order to make the payment.”

Customer: “Why?! I have the statement right here!”

Me: “Yes, but the statement doesn’t work anymore. The account numbers are different so we need your new card in order to make a payment. I can try scanning it but it won’t let me.” *I scan it and my computer beeps at me with a warning saying that it cannot process it at this time* “I’m sorry, sir. I’m going to have to have your new card.”

Customer: “But I don’t have it!”

Me: “Did you receive it in the mail?”

Customer: “Yes! I just don’t have it on me!”

Me: “Okay… there’s just nothing I can do store-level unless you have your card. I can give you a number to call or you can pay online.”

Customer: “Great! It’s due today! Now I’m going to have to f****** pay the 35 dollar overcharge fee because you won’t f****** take my bill!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, sir… there’s absolutely nothing I can do unless you have your card.”

Customer: “Just f****** great!”

(He stormed off and I saw him standing there yelling at his friend because I won’t accept his payment. He stood there for the next hour or so instead of going home to get his card to make his payment on time.)

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Libraries: The New Google!

Apr. 21st, 2017 09:00 pm
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Library | Norman, OK, USA

I work in a library.

A guy from Florida called because he found a painting in his mother in law’s garage and wanted to know what kind of turkey was in it.

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A Towering Pile Of Stupid Questions

Apr. 21st, 2017 07:00 pm
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Museum | USA

(I cashier at a museum that is very near our city’s most well-known tourist attraction, a very famous retro-futuristic tower. Despite the fact that it is 600 feet tall, distinctively shaped, internationally recognizable, and not physically connected to the museum in any way, we have conversations like this on a regular basis:)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Museum]. What can I do for you?”

Tourist: “Is this the [Tower]?”

Me: “No, sorry, this is [Museum]. The [Tower] is a little farther down that way.”

*gestures towards unmistakable 600-foot-tall tower*

Tourist: *peers around in confusion without looking upwards* “But where do you buy the tickets for the [Tower]?”

Me: “You can buy those at the [Tower]; they’ve got a ticket booth right at the base.”

Tourist: “Okay. So, can I make a reservation for [Restaurant on top of Tower]?”

Me: *at this point, struggling to keep a straight face* “They can do that over at the [Tower] as well! It’s just down there.” *points AGAIN at the enormous tower visible from my register*

Tourist: “Thank you!” *wanders off in a different direction*

Coworker: “Was that another ‘where’s the [Tower]?’ question?”

Me: “HOW do they not SEE IT?!”

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A Gross Grocery Error

Apr. 21st, 2017 05:00 pm
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Grocery Store | Cincinnati, OH, USA

(This woman is a regular problem customer at our store. She comes up to the service desk, at which I have been working for a little over a week.)

Customer: “Yes, my husband was here last week and you overcharged him. I added up what he bought and you charged him too much.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. May I see your receipt so we can take a look and get this figured out?”

Customer: “I don’t have my receipt. I threw it out. But you overcharged him. Here.”

(She proceeds to hand me a handwritten list with about eight things written on it, none of them over a dollar. She then starts lifting empty packages with mark-down stickers on them from her cart, as if that’s proof.)

Me: “Um… so you don’t have your receipt?”

Customer: “No, I threw it out. But you overcharged him.”

Me: “Well, we’ll have to look it up then. Do you have your customer card?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(She hands me her card and I write down the number on the back of it so we can look it up.)

Me: “And what day was your husband in here?”

Customer: “Uh… I don’t know. Thursday? Yes, Thursday.”

Me: “All right, give me a moment. I’m new up here so I’m going to need to get someone to help me look up your receipt.”

Customer: “Fine. But I need the money to buy groceries.”

Me: “Um… Okay, ma’am. Just give me a few minutes.”

(We look up the receipt from the day and two come up, both well over the amount she is telling me. So we print off the receipt and I go back out front to talk to her.)

Me: “We found the receipt and it looks like there are several others items on it.”

Customer: “No, he just bought these things. They must have made mistake. It doesn’t add up. You overcharged me.”

Me: “Well, I can’t give you any money back because the receipt says this is what he bought. If you want I can have someone check the cameras to make sure.”

Customer: “Okay. I’m going to go shopping and I’ll be back for my money. I need it for the groceries.”

(I call up the co-manager on duty and he goes back to check the cameras. The lady comes back about forty-five minutes later and the co-manager comes up to talk to her.)

Co-Manager: “We checked the cameras and your husband bought everything on the receipt.”

Customer: “No, they made a mistake. Overcharged me. I want my money back. I need it for groceries.”

Co-Manager: “Yeah, no one made a mistake. You weren’t overcharged. He bought everything.”

Customer: “No, it is a mistake. I need the money for my groceries.”

Co-Manager: “I’m sorry to hear that. Have a nice day.”

The post A Gross Grocery Error appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Just Took A Ride On A 12-Inch

Apr. 21st, 2017 03:00 pm
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Record Store | Crawley, England, UK

(Back in the 1970s I worked behind the counter in a record store. The band Hawkwind has just released a special 12-inch single edition of their hit “Silver Machine.” A young lad comes in:)

Lad: *in an apologetic voice* “Um, I don’t mean to be personal, but, er, have you got, er, a twelve inch silver machine?”

Me: *laughter*

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Restaurant | Finland

(One of our waiters takes an order from a family. The mother has shown her membership card so they are entitled to a discount. We are extremely busy so in a hurry the waiter forgets to add the discount on the bill. The lady asks me to bring her bill and is complaining about everything, being rather rude and snappy. When she sees the bills she gets furious for not having the discount on it. I apologize and go back to the till to correct the bill. I take the bill back and as I put it on the table, I repeat the total, and point out the discount on the bill.)

Me: “And here is your membership discount.”

Lady: “F****** discount!”

Me: “No, ma’am. It is not a f****** discount; it is a membership discount.”

(Her husband cracked up. She lost her rags and swore to me never to come back.)

The post That’s One Strong (Language) Discount appeared first on Funny & Stupid Customer Stories - Not Always Right.

Comic for April 21, 2017

Apr. 21st, 2017 11:59 pm
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